Hello dear friends in Christ, I pray this finds you well! Before getting back into sharing my conversion story with you, I just want to tell you all that I love praying the mass with you all! I look forward to it & love singing, praising, adoring and loving God with you!
Alright, back to the story I share for His glory! So in my mid-twenties I had become thoroughly disillusioned with life, felt utterly lost and was truly unsure of the existence of a God anymore. I sadly began to consider early exit options from this life…which are never thoughts that come from God. One day, I stared at a green love sofa in my apartment in the midst of self-imposed misery and flat out said “God, if you’re real, where are you?”
Though I was blind to His presence, He kept working on me. My Mom’s prayers continued to storm heaven, bringing crushing blows of God’s grace upon the enemy. A friend invited me to a prayer group, a sister of mine gave me a bible and slowly but surely God started to open my heart. I enjoyed the prayer group, I enjoyed hanging around these Christians who liked to sing to God, talk about Jesus, and were incredibly kind. I started going to Church (hadn’t been for years) with another sister of mine and thanks be to God I walked into a Catholic Church in East Lansing (St. John’s) that was on fire for Jesus. I didn’t understand at that point the truth of the Eucharist but I knew something felt right. I started reading the bible, the gospels to be specific…and one day I just about jumped up off the couch when the Holy Spirit showed me that God speaks to us in a very real way through the scriptures! That’s the truth friends, when we read the scriptures, God really speaks with us. I was blown away when I first experienced this! Well…long story short, life with faith in Jesus was undeniably better than the life of self-indulgence I had burned out on. God was winning my heart big time…
And then one night, as I slept on the couch in my apartment that was across from the green love sofa that I stared at and asked “God, if you’re real, where are you?” I had a dream like never before. In my dream, I saw Jesus sitting on that green love sofa. He was looking right at me. I can still see His face in my mind’s eye as I write this. He was looking right at me. He wasn’t mad…He was gazing at me, focused…steady. Even though I was dreaming it almost seemed like I was awake…that’s the only way I can explain how I remember it so clearly today, that and it was a merciful gift from God to a sinner. The very couch I looked upon and let out my agnostic groan that essentially said show me you’re real God, our merciful Lord sat down upon and looked at me…question answered! The next morning when I woke up, the room felt different, I felt different…things were lighter, I felt hope.
…to be continued!
God bless you friends; love you & praying for you!
Fr. Patrick